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How to not get a girl.

How to not get a girl.

As far as dating goes, I sit in a place of not only frustration but borderline disgust. Whatever happened to courting? Holding doors open, giving compliments and sending flowers? The dating world has sure changed and its kind of a shitty place to be honest. The things that guys are willing to say and do to get your attention or win you over are never endingly shocking to me. 

So for all you fellas out there that are wondering why you can't seem to lock down a date, here's my advice on how NOT to get a girl... unfortunately based on recent experience. 

1. Don't be pushy. If she says she's not interested, move on. If she says she needs time, give her some time. Messaging multiple times day, multiple times in a row, especially without responses looks desperate and a little crazy. I promise you that if you stood any future chance at all, these actions ruined it. 

2. Don't only text. This seems to be the new norm. Texting can be great and efficient and all that but how are you supposed to actually get to know somebody via text? Not to mention all the misunderstandings that occur when you can't hear a laugh or voice inflection. Never underestimate the power of a quick phone call to say good night or just because you're thinking about her. 

3. Speaking of goodnights, don't only contact her at night. She doesn't want someone that only thinks about her at 10pm when he's climbing in bed. She wants someone that is thinking of her at noon when he's at lunch at her favorite spot or at 5pm when he's driving home from work. 

4. Don't get too fresh too soon. Start talking dirty too early and she'll know exactly what you're after. Save it for your Tinder dates, not the girl you actually want to spend time with. 

5. Don't tease her too much. Maybe that worked for you in the 4th grade but as an adult it's just kind of annoying. 

6. Don't complain too much. Your life sucks, your job sucks, your living situation sucks... then what are you doing dating? She knows she can't fix your life for you so you damn sure shouldn't be trying to date her when you aren't happy with yourself. Go fix your life, get happy, and then give her a call.

And drumroll please for the most important one:

7.  Don't trash talk other men. I cannot stress this enough. ESPECIALLY do not trash talk the men she's been with or has recently dated or might be interested in currently. It blatantly puts down her taste in men if she is currently talking to said person. Also, this makes you look insecure and as douchy as possible. Like you don't have enough positive attributes of your own to catch her attention so you have to cut the other guys down a notch in hopes you will "win". This is probably the single most unattractive thing you can do, at least in my opinion. Have a more chivalrous "may the best man win" attitude and she'll not only feel more comfortable but she'll be more attracted to your confidence. 

There's my list for now, I'm sure I'm forgetting a few. I wish I could say this list wasn't built off very recent, very miserable experiences but here it is in all it's glory... Dating in the 2000's! 

 

 

Inspiration to write more.

Inspiration to write more.

A love letter to my nieces.

A love letter to my nieces.